Why are guys so obsessed with their dicks? We’ll be like “Mothers have the right to breastfeed their baby in public!” And without fail, dudes chime in with, “Does that mean I can pull my dick out in public? Can I urinate in public?” Chill the fuck out. This isn’t about your dick. You are already allowed to have your nipples out in public, sit the fuck down.
oh my GOD THANK YOU
(Source: syntheticmomma, via pannaholmes)
I asked my friend if she was having a good day today. All she replied with was this
(Source: nickalthouse, via pterrodactyl)
are you ever in the middle of saying something or showing someone something and you realize that literally no one cares
I’ve literally stopped talking mid-word in a story and no one has noticed.
like on the daily
Henryk Rodakowski (Polish, 1823-1894): “Marszałek” (“Marshal”), oil on canvas ,1859.
eat spicy food while pregnant. your baby will become a fire mage. yes i am a doctor
(Source: qatu, via lundsdotter)
do you ever type a long rant and then at the end of it you select all of it and delete it because no one cares
(Source: guy, via lundsdotter)
Putin to José Manuel Barroso: “If I want, I capture #Kiev in two weeks.”
STOP THIS MAD MAN!
what?? piE ? i gotta see this
ohhhh it says “piece” not “pie”
wait a second…
MAKE IT STOPAPAPFDG S
my anaconda dont